My Shadow, Incarnate.

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Who am I to not love my shadow?
Who am I to feed the one that lives on negativity and self-doubt?
Who am I to not accept every last inch of my body, my mind, my emotions…?
Who am I to reject the darker aspects of this Self?
Who am I?
Who are you?

Who am I when I look into the eyes of the monster with flowing black hair, who hovers above the ground and has fangs the colour of decaying bones? Who am I when I greet her? Who am I when I instead see the world through her eyes? Who am I when I see myself through her eyes?

I laugh.

After all these years, I’ve come to find that we are one and the same…


“Shadow Incarnate”

I once met a girl
Who laid her head on my sacrum
before the first glance
She hadn’t said hello
Yet my blood began to pass

I once met a girl
Who saw the pain behind my eyes
She rapped like the wind,
Saw behind all my lies

She knew all my moods
Just by the lines of my eyes –
I’ve since come to understand
This woman was me
In disguise

I once met a woman
Who felt like home
The way the heat feels in your palm
From a sun-kissed beach stone

She loved me, so deep
Yet my arms could not reach
The coat she wore
it was mine –
We once held hands in the street

I once met a woman
Whose eyes in mine saw light
Unfortunately for her
All I saw in hers was dark night

And there were times –
Many times in fact
Where I thought of her lips
Her thighs and her hips
But I couldn’t cross the space
between us

And sadly this tale
It’s taken a long time to tell
You could say it’s ongoing –
I’ve been through emotional Hell

For yes, I did love her –
But only a bit
For my love was conditional
There were a thousand times
Anger and rage
Pulsed through my fingertips

Days, weeks, months and years
The space grew louder
I saw, so so much disgust
and Hate
Inside her

The point came where I could no longer hug
– Get away from me
You bitch
How could you love me
this much?

You knew every single
Scar on my body
(You’re the reason I’ve been rejecting
everybody)

I’ll tell you one thing though –
(I’ve been thinking of forgiveness
and)
I’m slowly getting to grips
Lowering the hood of this black coat,
Just a little bit

Though our paths have diverged
I’m beginning to love her –
I once met a woman,
My Shadow,
Incarnate.

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