I may not be able to speak, but I can move.
I may not be able to sing, but I can dance.
I may not be able to express myself, but I can feel.
I may not be able to find my words, but I can find my Self with every beat of the big, bad drum…
On Friday night I went to my first ever ‘ecstatic/trance dance’ workshop, combined with sacred intention setting and breath-work… and it was… intoxicating, revealing, liberating, connecting, grounding, expanding, feeling, showing, celebrating, rejoicing, accepting, living…
I have found my self lately struggling to communicate. Struggling for words to come out, right or at all. Struggling to feel as though I am conveying my message accurately. This workshop… we began with a sacred circle, going around and stating our name and what we both wished to let go of, and to bring in to the new year… As we went further and further around the circle, closer to me, I felt my body hum more and more, vibrate more intensely till it was my turn and I felt like the only thing holding me there were the two hands of each person either side… The energy of the circle, everyone’s attention was feeding me, recognising me as here, as present and they were truly listening... So I stated my name… and my intention… that this year I wish to let go of and complete all contracts and agreements I have entered into as my past self that do not serve my highest good, to release the masks I feel the need to hide behind… and to bring in a new foundation, to bring my Self into life, and genuine feeling… (that second part just came out, and to be honest I can’t actually remember what the first thing I called in was, but I feel it was something around those lines…)…
In any case, we stretched and began dancing around the room… Dancing with others as we felt… I danced with a beautiful friend in a pure, childlike celebration, a rejoycement of all things fun in life and it was glorious… Then we put our blindfolds on and for the next hour (it could have been two… I have no idea how long it was because time didn’t really feel like it existed)… we just danced. Our dance. Our own dance. The dance of Kelsey. How we felt our bodies needed to be moved. How we felt called to be moved… and it was amazing. Liberating. Freeing. Occasionally I’d bump into someone and I had so many incredible connections… What one can experience with a connection of the hands, no words, no sight, just the Truth that lies within the hands… that is special, sacred. Heads together, palms together, I bless you, I love you, I see you.
After trance dancing to the point of pouring sweat, of pure intoxication with life, of coming so deep down into my body and my Truth, after expanding out and out and out… we came onto our mats for a breath-work session, using a re-birthing breath. Having had a few sessions in this method before, I recognised that a similar thing was occurring. My hands, my arms, there was so much energy there, all of it was being directed and they were so tense. I couldn’t relax them by my sides, and the wonderful woman who was running the workshop came over a few times to place my hands back by my sides but they literally rose up and no matter how hard I breathed they were like that. That had happened in a previous session with a breath-work practitioner, who mentioned that anger is often stored in the arms etc… and then as we were standing in the circle, both before and after, stating our intentions and then our experiences after dance and breath-work… I had the thought that I am powerful. Not in a mastery of the Universe type way, but that this energy that flows through me, into my hands, not everyone has that. Not every one experiences that.
I so often discount my own experiences for the thought of denying the fact that someone else could experience it too… and whilst yes, that is true, we all have the potential… we all manifest it differently… So what lies in my hands? My hips? My sides? I feel that I can tell a thousand stories with just a brush of my hand, that my words will never match up to my emotional world… I feel that the lovers touch is one of the most beautiful and expressive communications in the world… It is healing to be seen, to be seen with the hands, to be seen with the body… To be felt, to be heard, physically, emotionally, kinetically…
In any case, I know that will not be the only time I dance… I feel a deep calling to be in my body right now, to express myself physically, to explore the layers within and to do deep healing, clearing, expressing… and I need a little help too. I trust I’ll find it in the right way, with the right person, at the right time…
I AM CONNECTED.
I AM GROUNDED.
I AM FREE.
I AM LOVE.
Sat Nam, Kelsey.
P.s. I love this song at the moment; ‘Amen Omen’ by Ben Harper. Enjoy ❤