You Can’t Outrun Your Self

Step up,
hold on,
fingers clawing
thighs pushing.

Twist,
bend,
find your centre
move it,
make the leap.

I’m scared,
I can’t
I can’t
I can’t
I can.

Arms fatigued,
problems solved
a moment of accomplishment
from a week of trying
again and
again and
again.

Next to pump more blood
Spinning legs
racing mind
I am bored
stiffled,
claustraphobic.

Leave,
come to the wide open world,
one foot after the other
leading to the forest,
to the trees,
to the dirt,
to me.

Pounding feet,
racing heart,
quickened breath,
quietened mind.

Faster, faster, faster
I can’t take this
any of it,
there is so much inside
i’ve kept in
little
tiny
boxes.

Let me out
inside I am screaming
but all I hear is
pound
pound
pound
pant
pant
pant.

The tears come
they fly into the wind
the trees thrive and grow
from my sadness
tears giving new life
to seeds.

Spring has come
and I am sprouting
growing out of the dark soil
toward the light
i am taking it in
eating sunshine
breathing easier.

This new world is scary
but it is needed,
it is open,
I
Am
Here.

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