Nests and Wings

“In out of the way places of the heart
Where your thoughts never think to wander
This beginning has been quietly forming
Waiting until you were ready to emerge.

For a long time it has watched your desire
Feeling the emptiness grow inside you
Noticing how you willed yourself on
Still unable to leave what you had outgrown.

It watched you play with the seduction of safety
And the grey promises that sameness whispered
Heard the waves of turmoil rise and relent
Wondered would you always live like this.

Then the delight, when your courage kindled,
And out you stepped onto new ground,
Your eyes young again with energy and dream
A path of plenitude opening before you.

Though your destination is not clear
You can trust the promise of this opening;
Unfurl yourself into the grace of beginning
That is one with your life’s desire.

Awaken your spirit to adventure
Hold nothing back, learn to find ease in risk
Soon you will be home in a new rhythm
For your soul senses the world that awaits you.”

by John O’Donohue | Artwork by Lucy Pierce (www.lucypierce.com)

 https://www.facebook.com/DreamworkWithTokopa

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Many things have been going on in my life lately. I was accepted into a university in Eastern Canada for a semester on exchange. I ended toxic relationship I had with a friend. I had exams and my results were not up to my usual standard. I completed my first ever 10km race; the furthest and longest I have ever run. I did a 10 day Vipassana meditation course. I danced away the night with a friend at my favourite band’s gig completely sober and with no inhibitions. I quit my job.

The most recently… I have been thinking about a past relationship. A person who came into my life by no accident and our crossing paths completely changed my life. With my impending departure being less than a week away (5 days!!), I had a dream. Well, that being said, I dream a lot, but I had two particular dreams lately that have spurred me into action. The first was me with this man and longing for continuation of the relationship but knowing it was not right, and walking away to where my eyes were drawn to this certain man time and time again… The second dream came a few days later where I was at a party and I was talking to that same mystery man again, trying to remember his every detail because I wanted to be able to recognise him if I saw him in waking life, when a girl came up to me. This girl told me “Go. He wants to talk to you. He’s right around there”, gesturing around the corner. I asked her “Who?” and inquired about the man of my previous relationship. When I started to walk around the corner, I woke up.

I took this dream to have two interpretations. Firstly, that I needed to go talk to this guy and express everything I wanted to before I left, and that he (or his guides) needed me to communicate with me as well, for his own reasons. The second interpretation was that I needed to go speak to this guy in order to fully let go, and create space, sacred space, for both myself and someone who potentially could be right around the corner… Time will tell. Have any of you dreamt of people you had never met in real life, but felt were your soulmates? Anywho, so today I went and talked to this person and I am so glad I did, I feel so good about my decision and trusting in myself.

Along the same lines… So many things in my life are wrapping up, ending, being ‘finished’… and I feel it is in order to create space for whatever is coming next. I have been a tad baffled at my behaviour lately… After I finished this Vipassana course I felt so great, and ready to take on the world, ready to be ‘out and amongst it’ spending as much time with my friends and family doing things before I left. However, I’ve been doing a lot of the opposite. I’ve been spending whole days in bed. Sleeping, napping. Going for hikes and adventures alone. Really just… nesting, is how I put it today to my friend. They then remarked that it seemed like I was getting ready to take flight. I was thinking about that today, walking my dog, and I really am… In more ways than one. I am getting ready to physically fly overseas to a foreign country and live there for three to six months. I have no set plans. I have no return ticket. I am truly just …leaving. I am seriously about to spread my wings and fly, fly away from my home, fly away from my family and my parents… Truly flying the coop (is that the expression?). At last things are making some sense. I’m still scared, and nervous… but I am also excited, and ready, and capable. I’ve had many dreams lately where it has been demonstrated that despite being capable, and being shown that, I am hanging on to safety when it is not needed. Recognising that in the dream world is the first step. Now to apply it to real life and …let go of the rocks… dive into the surf… leap off of the ledge… and fly!

– The above poem & image popped up on my newsfeed; the Universe truly makes me giggle sometimes.

Namasté dreamers,
K-Leigh.

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Anstey’s Exploration

I’ve been wanting to explore Anstey’s Recreation Park, about 16km north of Adelaide, for a while now but have never felt comfortable going by myself… So when I found out one of my friends from uni wanted to as well, we organised for us and one of her friends to head out there for a hike. The main allure was this track called Torture Hill, but turns out it was only a 5 minute, albeit incredibly steep, hike up to the ridge-line. Before that though, was this set of abandoned buildings, long since worn down.

ansteys1 ansteys-eloise1 ansteys4

I seem to have developed a curiosity regarding windows…

ansteys6 ansteys7 ansteys8

It was pretty cool out there – there were some graffiti covered pipelines I didn’t take the opportunity to photograph. Word of advice though; I wouldn’t hike out there by yourself. It’s pretty remote and not much foot traffic (we only saw two – three groups of people in the two hours or so that we hiked). I’m certain that there’s another half of the park we didn’t traipse across to… Perhaps next time!

Whispers Of Love

by Rumi

Love whispers to my ear,
“Better to be a prey than a hunter.
Make yourself My fool.
Stop trying to become the sun and become a speck!
Dwell at My door and be homeless.
Don’t pretend to be a candle, be a moth,
so you may taste the savor of Life
and know the power hidden in serving.”

Mathnawi V. 411-414 (translated by Kabir Helminski)
The Rumi Collection‘, Edited by Kabir Helminski

Fire In Da Hole

I have had this idea of a project in my head for a while now. There is a hiking trail about 10km from my house that I frequent quite often, and on the way there there is an abandoned house burnt out and full of cobwebs and graffiti. So, I decided that this afternoon was the time, so I dressed in the colourful clothes I’d imagined myself wearing, and armed with my hiking shoes, tripod and brothers camera, I set off. When I got there I snapped some photos…

cleland-leaves cleland-burntout cleland-graffiti cleland-cobwebs

but came to the second doorway (image below) and, as always, stopped cold in my tracks. I’ve been past there before, but always with others. I know abandoned buildings typically have an eerie sense to them but the little voice in my head warned me to not go any further… I stood there for some while until I heard laughter. It wasn’t mine. It was coming from the room. Something laughed and dared me to turn my back on love.

cleland-fireindaholecleland-love cleland-window

I slowly walked backwards some steps, and then turned around and walked calmly, but very quickly, out the side entrance and snapped two more photos (above) before I left. I can’t return and complete the project without someone coming along for moral support and protection… but to be honest I’m not even sure if I want to.

Portal, portal, portal. Doorways where the veil is the thinnest.

Shedding Skin

Rapid change
– expected –
yet the sting of
hot tears
surprises my cheeks.

Choices made
now manifesting into reality
I am as a snake in
the midst of
shedding it’s
skin.

Adjusting to this new world
through morphing eyes and
rough
raw
skin,
emotion is revealed in
ways never felt
before.

I have this strange habit of
reaching
for something slightly
different to what I
want,
– close –
yet no cigar.

Yet it is often these
choices –
where i reach at
360°
and clasp at
355°
– that do reveal the
hand of
Grace.

Two days ago
reflecting upon this
chaotic year,
the mantra
let go
let go
let go
filled my every
cell,
spoke to my
soul,
consumed my entire
being.

In one of my favourite poems
the saying goes
“raindrop, let go
become
the ocean”
– the ocean of
i am
i am
i am,
i was,
i still have time to
be…
i always have been.

Layers peel off when
ready
to reveal higher
Truth –
my insides hung out to
dry.

The shadows that
linger,
the fears that
distract,
my worst selves all trying on
one last
act,
I laugh –
now I see what you are
playing at.

Whispers –
let go of
reason,
of intellect,
the need to categorise and
intellectualise,
give in
to feeling,
to the knowing beyond
words
and the mysteries of this
human
mask.

Laugh at your
fears
embrace the frightened children
within,
step off the ledge and
fly.

Ride the air like
waves,
see the world through
beady eyes,
breathe in
deep colour,
breathe out
black thunder.

Embrace the Goddess
within
without
and all the
places
inbetween…

Sat Nam.